Understand the link between stress and libido

Having become the backdrop to an ever faster, busier and more productive daily life , stress is considered the evil of the century. Recognized as being the cause of many physical and mental illnesses, it also has consequences on our sexual well-being . While it can cause erectile dysfunction in men, it also affects women. Loss of libido has multiple factors and manifests itself through various symptoms that are more or less difficult to live with. With this article, we offer you some avenues of understanding and reflection to find a sexuality on fire.

The Physical Effects of Stress on Libido

When stress settles in permanently, it invades the body and mind . It locks the body and puts our nervous system in red alert mode , in particular by increasing the level of the hormone cortisol. 🚨

Moreover, most mental and psychological disorders directly affect the proper functioning of the body. We cannot really separate what happens in the body and in the head.

Stress therefore has an effect on libido, but also on the mechanisms of sexual arousal . Yes, the neurotransmitters responsible for sending pleasure hormones are the same as those of relaxation!

In addition, the secretion of adrenaline linked to anxiety, exhaustion or depression causes a certain tension in the body which prevents one from completely letting oneself go to a moment of love.

Finally, the impact on the body can manifest itself through a dysfunction of blood circulation which reduces the flow of blood to the genitals at the time of arousal.

The examples cited in this paragraph serve to illustrate the different actions of a state of stress, but it is important to remember that everyone reacts differently to stress.

Stress and mental load

When stress impacts our sex life, it can touch the sensitive chord of performance . As we saw in the article on positive sexuality , sex is surrounded by a myriad of injunctions.

When desire is scarce or the body is out of sync with the excitement, a vicious cycle of loss of self-confidence appears.

To put it simply, you have experienced the symptoms of stress as a failure and when the next time you start intercourse, you find yourself overwhelmed by anxiety. 🆘

“What if I can’t have an orgasm?” “What if I’m not lubricated enough like last time?” “What if it happens again and I lose the desire even though I’m the one who got my partner hot?”

You then come out of the present moment and the sensations of pleasure to take refuge in the realm of your thoughts. In short, a layer of stress is added to the initial state and a moment of pleasure quickly turns into a nightmare . Thank you for the atmosphere. 👍

Becoming aware of the pressure you are putting on yourself is a great first step towards being more accepting of the situation and therefore less stress.

What to do to get your libido back?

Act at the root

Low libido is an indicator of high and constant stress levels . Addressing the source of stress is the best way to regain your desire.

Indeed, simply wanting to boost your libido by hiding the causes of stress is a bad move, because it would only cause more deregulation of the nervous system.

Depending on the severity of your situation, you can manage stress alone or seek the assistance of a professional such as a psychologist or sexologist . He or she will be able to support you in your quest for a more serene personal and sexual life.

If the causes of stress are in your relationship, seeking help from a marriage therapist is an option to consider.

In any case, a little personal introspection in the form of journaling or reflection will help you judge the real place of anxiety in your daily life. ✒️

Communicating with your partner

All successful couples who last will tell you that, after trust and mutual respect, good communication is the cement of a relationship . Whether you have been in a monogamous relationship for years, in an open relationship or in a "no-label" setting with your partner, sharing your feelings and emotions is essential. 💬

Take advantage of a chill moment to open the dialogue in complete confidence. A live exchange rather than in writing is perhaps the easiest way to express yourself.

Words have real power: express what you are going through without devaluing yourself or blaming your partner . Choosing to talk about a subject as taboo as a drop in libido is a sign of courage and a first step towards finding an answer together. 💪

Once your partner has received your problem, he or she will probably want to provide solutions. You can then specify what you expect from the other , whether it is understanding, patience or even longer foreplay.

You will then be able to work hand in hand to boost your libido .

Practice Self-Compassion

Unlike physical illnesses, stress is invisible to others. Mental health is still not taken seriously enough . This is often why we tend to be hard on ourselves when we are having difficulties.

When this is added to the injunction of perfection and performance which hangs over female sexuality, we can quickly give ourselves the double role of executioner and victim.

Learning to love yourself and fully accept the situation helps to limit this vicious cycle of stress. Self-compassion is about awakening the little empathetic voice inside us and letting it take the helm. 🤍

This can involve taking note of your paralyzing thoughts and asking yourself if you would dare to address them in this way to your best friend. The practice of mindfulness , through meditation for example, also allows you to accept yourself and embrace your whole humanity.

Moreover, meditation (like pleasure) is known for its soothing and anti-stress virtues . You thus kill two birds with one stone by regulating your nervous system and learning to be gentler with yourself during this period of low libido. 🍃

We hope that this article has given you some keys to understanding the link between stress and sexual desire . As there are a multitude of factors that can cause this loss of libido, there are also a variety of solo or accompanied approaches to regain a vibrant and fulfilling sex life. Desire fluctuates throughout life and its constancy is just one more myth that Puissante has chosen to disintegrate! 🔥