Vaginismus

Whether it's periods or masturbation , taboos have no mercy for women's intimacy. Vaginismus , a disorder encountered by 1% of women, is also a victim. Women who suffer from it often find it difficult to talk about it out of shame and guilt. Whether it's primary or secondary vaginismus, this article will help you better understand these disorders that prevent many women from flourishing in their sexuality.

Primary/global vaginismus and secondary/situational vaginismus

Despite her desire, a woman with vaginismus will unconsciously contract the muscles of her perineum , to the point that nothing can penetrate her vagina; whether it is a penis, a tampon, a finger, a speculum, a vibrator… Sometimes, the pain is too intense for the penetration of anything to be possible. Even if the desire to have penetrative intercourse is present, a trauma or a totally unconscious fear will result in this blockage. There are two types of vaginismus: primary or global vaginismus and secondary or situational vaginismus .

Primary or global vaginismus differs from secondary or situational vaginismus in that the woman who suffers from it has never had sexual intercourse. This is due to a psychological cause; the person has suffered trauma related to the genital system; sexual violence, a disastrous medical appointment, a fall, a lack of information… In short, it is the fear of pain , to the point that we can speak of a “phobic” disorder. The image of a vagina that is much too narrow in relation to the penis is often the one that women have of their intimacy.

A person who has had consensual sex and subsequently develops this disorder has secondary or situational vaginismus. Similar to global vaginismus, situational vaginismus occurs following trauma to the genital tract.

Cure Vaginismus

"The SVT classes dedicated to sex education made me dizzy in middle school. We were told about " tearing " the hymen. Sexual life was immediately synonymous for me with pain and not with "loss", but with the tearing of a part of my body, which then became an open wound.

One afternoon at the pool with my friends from school, I got my period. I was one of the only ones in the group who already had my period. Those who also had my period had already used a tampon, they were even fans of them. Then came the peer pressure, especially from those girls who were the "popular" ones at school. They told me that a tampon was nothing, that it was easy to put in, that it didn't hurt. Our host then rummaged through his mother's drawer, looking for a tampon. The image I had of it was quite impressive, I can still see it as if it were about thirty centimeters long. I stayed in the toilets for an hour trying to put it in. It was impossible, real torture. So I gave up and obviously, the next day, at school, everyone knew it, and no one was very nice to me. I will always remember the girl in my class who came to me and told me that her mother had vaginismus, and that I shouldn't worry because it was possible to cure it .

-Anonymous testimony

The first step to curing vaginismus is to understand that this disorder is not your fault. Many women feel guilty and do not talk about it for this reason.

It has now become possible for many women to cure vaginismus thanks to multiple therapies. You can be followed by a sexologist , gynecologist and/or psychologist. These health professionals will listen to your story in order to understand the origin of the problem and be able to find and give you solutions through psychotherapy. You will (re)learn to (re)tame your body through the exploration of the latter. Looking at your private parts with a mirror and masturbating step by step will help you realize that sexuality is not synonymous with pain. Several exercises to do at home are often recommended, such as relaxation exercises for example. In some cases, hypnosis is also possible.

Once you are able to insert a finger into your vagina, your medical specialist will work with you to reduce contractions using vaginal dilators.

Cognitive behavioral therapy

Focused on cognition and behavior, cognitive behavioral therapy aims to change negative thoughts and phobias. The therapist accompanies without any pressure towards new guided reflections and internal monologues. This will be presented in the form of tasks and missions to be accomplished.

Cognitive behavioral therapy will help you fight against your internal conflicts, beliefs and anxieties. It will also help you manage stressful situations (although unconscious) such as the penetration of anything in your vagina, but also to (re)find confidence in yourself. ❤️

The role of perineal physiotherapy

Accompanied by a midwife or a specialized physiotherapist, perineal physiotherapy also plays a role in healing your vaginismus. Since it is due to the contraction of the perineal muscles, it must be (re)worked. In order to facilitate vaginal penetration, gentle stretching of the muscles will allow relaxation. You can also learn "self-massages" there.

Differences between vaginismus, vulvodynia and dyspareunia

While vaginismus is defined by the involuntary contraction of the pelvic muscles that makes any penetration painful or even impossible due to a psychological mechanism, dyspareunia is a medical term that refers to pain felt during sexual intercourse. Although pain during penetration is the common symptom of both disorders, the pelvic floor does not contract in cases of dyspareunia, so penetration is possible. Vulvodynia is also synonymous with pain for women who suffer from it, but only at the entrance of the vagina and labia. The pain manifests itself spontaneously or due to physical contact.