Our best tips for discovering slow sex

What if we traded the injunction to perform for more gentleness, more slowness and more intention? This is what the slow movement proposes. First appearing in the kitchen with slow food, this invitation to slow down also applies to the sphere of pleasure. Nourished by mindfulness , the practice of slow love would also be a gateway to more self-love, relaxation and a better relationship with your +1. Here we go, we tell you everything about pleasure that takes its time!

What is Slow Sex?

The philosophy of slow sex is part of the broader movement of positive sexuality . By moving away from performance and orgasm at all costs, this approach tinged with personal development refocuses us on our body, our emotions and the connection with our lover. It reminds us that the journey is much more precious than its destination, with good vibes and without pressure.✈️

Diana Richardson, an American sex therapist and author of " Slow Sex, Making Love Consciously ", explains:

"Our proposal is to slow down and be fully present in each moment of the sexual act, rather than focusing intensely on the orgasm, at the risk of missing the possibility of feeling the subtle nuances throughout the sexual union."

In slow sex , the watchword is above all relaxation : candles, a neutral and soothing decor, relaxing music... The subdued and soft atmosphere allows for total connection , more sensations, and above all the possibility of finding harmony and working on your breathing.

 

Planning your romps

The belief that our moments of pleasure must be spontaneous, fiery and quick limits the opportunities to take our time and truly discover the other in our sexual life.

Taking the time, whether it's a few hours or even several days, to ride the wave of pleasure is a great way to try slow sex. Having a few hours offers more possibilities for caresses , exploring sensations or mapping the other's body with our hands , all while practicing relaxation, meditation and ensuring sexual health, in a framework of kindness and authentic connection.

It is also an opportunity to start this meeting with a joint relaxation session. 🧘

Why not follow a guided meditation or do a mindful breathing exercise during the first quarter of an hour of your meeting. Relaxation is a fundamental condition to fully experience your emotions by paying particular attention to your body, without trying to make them more intense. And it's good for your health!

Leave your schedule, responsibilities and daily injunctions at the doorstep. Stock up on refreshing drinks and let time stand still. 🍃

 

Perpetuate your foreplay

Foreplay is still too much seen as a means to an end. It ends when the excitement has reached the desired level before moving on to the next level : penetration or more intense stimulation . Just the term foreplay makes us think of some cute things that happen before being totally on fire 🔥

At Puissante, we do not agree with the concept. What we call foreplay is an integral part of lovemaking . Dwelling on it and taking the time to build up and feel desire with your partner is also very enjoyable. 🌋

To make your foreplay last longer and experience your body from the inside , we suggest you play with your senses .

Be careful, you have to combine sensoriality and sensuality to rediscover yourself and fully experience the present moment.✨

The touch ✋
Mix caresses and massage movements slowly on your partner's body. Take the time to let your hand wander, it can stop on certain areas to feel the texture, the heat and perhaps some tremors. Listen to your sensations and those of your partner.

Hearing 🎵

Talk to each other about what you like , about the impressions that the other person makes you feel. Guide your partner or whisper compliments related to what you are experiencing at that moment, to make them feel all the love and desire that you have for each other 💖

The view 👁️‍🗨️
Observe your partner's body. Soak up every detail as if you wanted to engrave it in your memory. Too often we tend to take the other person for granted to the point of forgetting to really look at them. Dive your gaze into theirs to maintain the connection and continue to live this time together. In her book, Diana Richardson also recommends keeping your eyes open throughout the act.

Meditation 🧘‍♀️

Start with a short meditation session together. Sit across from each other, focus on breathing, and connect mentally before moving on to physical expressions of intimacy.

Penetration 😊

Integrate penetration consciously. Don't rush into it, but instead, explore it mindfully, focusing on the physical and emotional sensations it provides.

 

The game of sensoriality can also take place in the atmosphere of your love moment. We dare to use soft lighting, incense and candles (away from the bed please). Massage oil and some foods can also accompany your session to make it even hotter and more conducive to relaxation.

 

Practicing Mindfulness Outside of Bed

Making love mindfully can be a challenge when you are used to rushing from one task to another and being constantly immersed in your thoughts . Returning to the here and now can even be a distressing experience because the mind has lost this habit.

Don't panic, it can be practiced! Coming back to your breath is our first tip to come back to the present moment. Slow down and observe the quality of your breathing : is it deep or shallow? Fast or slow? Also observe your rib cage gradually unfold from the belly to the collarbones. 💨

If breathing exercises aren't your thing, you can use your senses . For example, list 3 things you see, 2 sounds you hear, 1 object you can touch. Taking mental note of their characteristics and appearance will bring you back to the present in the blink of an eye.

These techniques will help you invite more presence into your daily life. You will be able to anchor yourself more easily in the present moment during slow sex, paying particular attention to your body, touch, desire and feelings, in an atmosphere of kindness and good vibes, without pressure. 🥰

 

We hope that these few avenues of exploration will invite you to try slow sex. This practice is in no way a new injunction where slowness and awareness replace performance and orgasm. Our sexuality is multiple , it can be fiery and passionate, fast and aggressive as well as slow and languid. The important thing is to always keep pleasure, consent and well-being as a compass . So, feel free to experiment with new ways of making love! 🔥