How to create your sexual menu
When it comes to choosing at a restaurant, some of us feel a familiar anxiety: that of making the wrong choice . In these moments, it can be tempting to blame the waiter for not having given better advice or the menu for not being clear enough. Deep down, we know that the responsibility for our disappointment lies largely with us . What if it were the same during our steamy moments? The "sex menu" is a brilliant tool that promotes communication and thus avoids disappointment. In this article, we suggest you understand how it works and create your own step by step. Pretty cool, right?
What is a sex menu?
Having tested it in our younger years, we are certain: telepathy does not exist . Neither we nor our partners are able to guess what ignites our desire. Sometimes, we fall right or we have common affinities and it's the jackpot. Other times, we remain hungry.
Good news: it’s not inevitable ! ✨
Inherited from the BDSM universe, the sexual menu is a list of preferences, desires and limits in terms of sex. Submissives generally send it to their dom to prepare a session. This healthy communication practice has since become more widespread and is now used in all types of relationships, including exclusive couples.
This menu is your guide to a powerful orgasm. 📋
OK, taking an hour to create your sexual map may seem strangely formal. However, it is a fun and practical tool to nourish our sexual fulfillment.
Why prepare your sexual menu?
Facilitate communication about our desires and limits
The sex menu provides a structured way to talk openly about what turns us on and what doesn't. Having a concrete list eliminates the awkwardness often associated with these discussions. It allows couples to better understand each other sexually.
Saying bye-bye to disappointing experiences
By knowing each other's sexual expectations, the sexual menu reduces the risk of misunderstandings between partners . It avoids improvisations that cut off desire and invites a more harmonious and intense sensual ballet. 🤩
Encourages the exploration of new practices
Our sexuality is a big playground. With its many practices and kinks, we could spend our lives studying the field. Having an up-to-date list of what we like and what tickles our curiosity is the key to getting out of our comfort zone. With our partner, it is also an opportunity to keep the flame alive and never get bored.
Know your pleasure better
Taking the time to make your menu means giving importance to your desire and regaining power over your limits . Nothing is taboo, nothing is dirty and no one is there to judge your garden of fantasies. By having this little list, you will learn to embrace the full spectrum of your pleasure and accept your sexuality as an integral part of your identity. 🤍
Builds trust in the relationship
Sharing your desires and fantasies openly and honestly builds trust between partners. In addition to nurturing trust, it is also the intimacy that one develops by daring to open up fully to the other . With such a powerful emotional connection, the moments shared under the sheets will only be more ardent. 🔥
Free speech on sex
Once the sex menu is created, it becomes easier to approach other sex-related topics . This can encourage frank discussions about sexual needs and desires. This can improve overall communication in the relationship!
How to Create Your Sex Menu
List as many sexual activities as possible
This is probably the most laborious part of this exercise. At first glance, making a list of practices seems to be quick. A few positions, our favorites of foreplay and that's it.
We invite you to go further by taking into account everything that happens before, during and after the relationship . You can also add any act that arouses or cools your desire without it being explicitly sexual.
Lacking inspiration? Refer to the example at the end of the article 👇
Classify them
Write your list down in a spreadsheet or your favorite notebook. Have a digital version handy so you can easily share it with your partner so he or she can refer back to it if needed.
There is no universal system for listing your menu. Here is a method made in Puissante that combines several techniques found among dominatrixes as well as sex therapists.
First, sort your starters into sections. Following the spirit of a restaurant menu, you can start with a three-course meal.
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Inputs 🥗 Foreplay: List everything you like, hate, or want to try to build excitement. This could be anything from tender gestures to sexting to foot massages.
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Main Course 🍝 The Heart of the Action: Include elements of the sexual act here, whether specific positions, role-playing, or particular practices.
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Dessert 🧁 After the act: Finally, describe your preferences for afterwards, whether it's cuddling, intimate conversations or even a shower together.
Next, rate each entry. This can be an “ Oh Yes,” “Never,” and “Why Not,” or a number from 0 to 5. 0 represents what you like the least and 5 represents what excites you the most.
Ready? Grab your pens! 🖋️
Our tips for making the menu your BFF
Be specific
The more specific you are in your menu, the more useful it will be for you and your partner. Don't hesitate to detail what you like and don't like, as well as your fantasies and desires .
For example, if you like receiving oral pleasure, you can detail how and under what conditions. If hickeys make your temperature rise, note their intensity or the body parts where you prefer to receive them.
Same goes for what you like to give to your partner. 💕
Talk to your partner about it
Rather than sending your wish list as a surprise, first explain to your partner what a sex menu is and why you think it's a good idea.
Invite him to participate by presenting it as an exercise that is as fun as it is necessary to get to know each other. You can even link him to this article if you are afraid of not finding the words. 😉
Keep your sex menu up to date
Would you be willing to wear your favorite outfit from when you were 15 again? We bet not. When it comes to pleasure, tastes also evolve based on our personality and experiences. Your sex life is not set in stone , and what was exciting a few years ago may not be today, while new desires and curiosities may emerge.So come back to your darling list as soon as you notice a change in your preferences . An up-to-date sex menu is the guarantee of a sexuality that is as stimulating as it is fulfilling. 🙌
An example to inspire you
| Practical | Note |
| Kissing with tongue in public |
3 |
| Sodomy | 4 |
| Edging | 2 |
| Clothed massage | 3 |
| Clitoris sucker | Want to test |
| Nude massage | 5 |
| Being naked with the light on | 3 |
| Being naked with the lights off | 4 |
| During menstruation | 1 |
| Saliva | 3 |
| Take a shower together | 5 |
| In public | 2 |
| Mutual masturbation | 4 |
| Couple masturbation | 2 |
| 69 | 0 |
| Ice cubes | Want to test |
| Vibrator | 4 |
| Watching Pornography | 2 |
Here we are at the end of the guide. Congratulations! You are taking back control of your sexuality and asserting your desires. That's what it means to be a Powerful woman! The sexual menu is a big step forward for your sexual esteem. We share other tips to boost it in this article . 😘
