3 Ways to Work on Your Sexual Esteem
wikiHow

Having high sexual self-esteem makes us more adventurous, more fulfilled and better prepared to ride the wave of pleasure . In this article, we tell you a little more about sexual self-confidence and give you some tips on how to boost it .

What is sexual esteem?

We all know what self-esteem is: the judgment we make of ourselves . It is largely built during childhood, but fluctuates as life events unfold.

The image we have of ourselves influences our behavior with others, our posture, our tone, our ambition, etc.

Sexual esteem is the same thing applied to the context of our sexuality . It is the distorting mirror we hold up to ourselves to gauge our sexual selves.

It can never be said enough: sex is a story of the brain and emotions much more than of mechanics and fluids.📢

Sexual esteem is therefore the thoughts and beliefs that we feed through our experiences. It is also the value we give to our way of connecting with our partners, with ourselves, where we place ourselves in our general vision of sexuality.

The whole point of working on sexual esteem is to integrate it into the overall image we have of ourselves.

The more you are in love with your sensuality, your sexuality and the more you accept that your sexuality is normal , the more your general confidence will be impacted . We are sure: we did the test! 🤩

What factors influence sexual confidence?

Sexual confidence is the result of a multitude of interconnected factors that give us a consistently skewed self-image.

They can be grouped into two large families, on the one hand emotional factors and on the other cultural factors .

Emotional factors are directly linked to our inner world, what we have experienced that is fulfilling or limiting. From these experiences, we draw conclusions that, over time, turn into beliefs. 🧠 This can range from survivor trauma to the curious pleasure of first times .

Cultural factors are the already formed beliefs that family, media and doctors transmit to us. For example, in France, sex education summarizes intercourse as a risk-taking that can lead to pregnancy or illness. Depending on the entourage, sex can be perceived as dirty, impure, taboo while the media presents a hypersexualization of bodies and behaviors.

Taking stock and identifying these factors is a first step towards regaining control over your sexual self-confidence . ☀️

How to improve your sexual self-esteem?

Reconnecting with your body

The first step to boosting your sexual confidence is to get back to your body.

Our days are filled with to-do lists and demands for performance . At work, at home, in society and in bed, we have to be more, do more and this causes a mental load that we could do without. 📅

The brain becomes the master on board , it juggles between the regrets of the past and the pressure of the future. Not cool when you just want to enjoy an intimate moment alone or with others.

Anchoring yourself in your body allows you to take possession of it, to put your thoughts on hold and simply feel. 🧘

Reconnecting with your body can be done through:

• breathing exercises such as cardiac coherence
• visualizations like body scan
• intuitive dance to your favorite sound
• sleep naked
• self massage
• a mindful meal
• masturbation

There are as many ways to fully experience sensations as there are sensitivities. We strongly recommend that you test different approaches to see which ones resonate most with you.

You can then establish a ritual every day, every week or every night of the full moon to maintain the relationship with your body. 🤍

Go through writing

Writing works wonders when it comes to exploring our depths and investigating the obstacles to our sexual esteem.

Journaling is about writing down your thoughts, following their train of thought, and letting them guide you to answers. ✒️

You will first be able to study the different preconceived ideas or things that you consider to be true in the area of ​​sexuality.

For example: women can't have an orgasm or conversely, a woman takes pleasure noisily . Nobody likes to see my curves because it's not sexy or if I say no, they'll think I'm a prude.

Once you have brought these beliefs to light and formulated them, you can see where they come from . 🔎 Are they inherited from someone , a parent, a friend, a partner, a film? Or rather from a specific situation that happened more or less a long time ago?

Then, take the time to see how you can reformulate this belief with kindness . Of course, we don't go from " My body doesn't deserve to be loved " to " I'm a hottie who receives love from everyone I meet ". It's like a muscle, self-esteem is strengthened little by little. 💪

You can rephrase it as an intention, “ I want to be more comfortable in my body and wear the Bordelle set that I dream of so much. ” Then, when you are comfortable with this idea, move on to the next step, “ I can see myself being comfortable in my body and I will order the Bordelle set .” Then, “ I can be comfortable in my body and wear the Bordelle set .” Until you get to “ I am comfortable in my body and I am wearing the Bordelle set .”

Get your pens ready!

Putting poverty on the back burner

At Puissante, our mission is to give you back your power by showing that what you think is a flaw is completely normal.

To break down the preconceived ideas that hinder fulfilling sexuality, we offer education as an antidote .

We have access to many resources, whether social, philosophical or scientific, to bring a new perspective on our sexuality. 🖱️

For those who want to go deeper, we have prepared a list of books that question our conditioning in the areas of beauty, periods and sexuality. It's here.

You can also look for a podcast, blog or Instagram account that wants to make positive sex more accessible.

The great thing about our time is that the internet gives us access to an infinite amount of content, testimonies and other people's journeys. We can thus find those whose experiences and perspectives on sexual confidence allow us to move forward in our own journey.

Like self-confidence, sexual esteem can be worked on and improved when we take the time to take care of it . As we become more aware and take self-love actions, we discover ourselves and learn to accept ourselves unconditionally . We wish you wonderful explorations in meeting your sexual personality and, above all, to finally feel "enough" . 😘