How to Get Over a Breakup Feeling Powerful
Whether it's a friendly or romantic breakup, a breakup is often painful. Grieving a romantic relationship can be a difficult stage in life, but never insurmountable. Despite the grief and emotional upheaval it causes, a breakup can also become a valuable opportunity to rediscover yourself , strengthen yourself , and rise from the ashes. In this article, we share our best tips for emerging more powerful from the end of a relationship . Whether you're in the middle of the emotional storm or after a few months, these strategies will help you enjoy being single.
Drawing inspiration from the 7 stages of grief to move forward
Various events such as moving, job loss, illness, infidelity or personal problems can precipitate a separation. A separation by mutual consent, although rare, is often the easiest to accept. Deciding to leave someone can be as difficult as being left.
Some couples break up after a relationship marked by challenges such as poor communication, lack of emotional support, violence or the inability to overcome key stages of marital or personal development. In some cases, breaking up becomes the only possible solution and there is nothing wrong with that.
Breaking up is similar to the 7 stages of grief because it involves loss . You have to leave behind a person and habits that you share with them. There are similar emotional and psychological reactions .
- The shock
The news of a breakup can be unexpected and upsetting, especially if we are being dumped.
- Denial
After the shock, it is common to refuse to accept the reality of the breakup, hoping that things will return to “normal.” Hope is omnipresent.
- Anger
Once reality is accepted, feelings of anger may arise against the ex-partner or the situation itself.
- Sadness
A phase of intense sadness and tears may follow and this is normal. We miss the other person and are left with only the memories of the relationship, which can be particularly painful.
- Resignation
After going through the intense emotions, there is a phase of resignation where one begins to accept that the relationship is truly over, even if it remains difficult.
- Acceptance
This step involves a deeper acceptance of the reality of the breakup, allowing one to begin to envision a future without the other.
- The reconstruction
Eventually, you begin to rebuild your life, redefine yourself individually , and open the door to new possibilities and relationships.
📢 Reminder : These stages are not linear and can vary in intensity and duration from one person to another, you can be at 2 stages at the same time or have the impression that it is going backwards, do things at your own pace, as you feel. 🌞
1. Understanding separation
When you break up, something happens in your brain. 🧠
The shock and sudden change in daily life produces a greater quantity of cortisol and adrenaline: the stress hormones , responsible for anxiety, insomnia, and even depression.
To recover from a breakup, it is first important to understand it and deal with these emotions, to give time to the pain. ❤️🩹
There is nothing wrong with being sad, quite the opposite. Not accepting your emotions and turning a blind eye can be worse and only postpones the wave of emotions you don't want to feel.
2. Recognize and express your emotions
Grief of loss, relief, pain, fear of the future: these are common emotions that we live with during the post-breakup period.
Knowing how to express them is crucial to transforming this stage.
In writing 🖊️
Writing down your feelings daily can help clarify your thoughts and express your emotions in healthy ways and vent your anger, hurt, and sadness.
It can be very liberating to write letters to your ex-partner or to yourself. There is no need to send them, it is the process of writing that matters. You can even write down all your thoughts and burn the letter afterwards. 🔥
To balance negative emotions with positive thoughts, you can list things you are grateful for each day.
Orally 🗣️
Joining breakup support groups provides a community of people who share similar experiences.
Talk to yourself the way you would like to be talked to, this will help you overcome moments of doubt and pain. It is crucial to cultivate an inner dialogue with as much kindness as possible to give yourself all the love you need during this time.
By movement 🎨
Running, yoga or any other form of exercise can help release endorphins and reduce stress, it's liberating and feels good! 🏃
Painting, drawing or sculpting allows you to express difficult emotions in a visual and artistic way. It is also a way to discover a new activity!
Dancing allows you to release buried emotions and reconnect with your body.
Taking on DIY, gardening or cooking projects is the best way to distract yourself from negative thoughts while creating something positive, and in the process rearrange your garden. 😉
To calm the mind and manage breakup anxiety, meditation can be a great way to externalize and re-center with yourself.
3. Adopt new habits: (re)explore your pleasure alone
Going through a breakup is an opportunity to focus on yourself and reconnect with your well-being. By taking time for yourself, you can rediscover and appreciate your own company, an aspect often neglected during a relationship, when you are in a relationship, you have to keep this time of personal development which allows each person to find themselves better , and it is often something that we forget in a relationship because we think of the other before thinking of ourselves.
Focusing on yourself not only helps you heal emotionally but also builds your self-esteem. 🧘
And what better way to do that than to reclaim your body by discovering new pleasures alone on a solo date or by using vibrators ?
Because yes, going on a date can also be done alone. Treat yourself as you deserve, go to the cinema, to a restaurant, for a walk, alone !
Using a vibrator can be a great way to boost your confidence and self-esteem , which is exactly what you need after a breakup!
By giving yourself these moments of well-being, you learn to appreciate and love yourself again, which is essential to overcome this period. And at Puissante , we have everything you need, lots of choices to pamper yourself to the maximum.
4. Dare to ask for help
Depending on your relationship and history, a breakup can be an extremely difficult time. It is essential not to remain isolated.
Talking to loved ones and family can be a great support. Sharing your feelings and thoughts with them can not only provide relief, but also offer insight and advice from their own experiences of breakups, you can discuss your feelings with someone you trust. Sometimes hearing how others have overcome similar situations can be extremely reassuring and comforting . 👪
Don’t underestimate the importance of maintaining an active social life . Expand your social circle by reaching out to the world and meeting new people. Joining clubs, hobby groups, or associations can help you meet like-minded people and expand your support network. Spending more time with friends and family can help you feel connected and less alone during this ordeal.
Don’t hesitate to seek professional help if you feel the need. Consulting a psychologist or therapist can provide you with a safe and confidential space to explore your emotions and develop stress management strategies. The professional will welcome you in a secure space to discuss your breakup. In addition, this personalized support allows to address specific aspects of your situation, thus giving you the tools necessary to move forward, with all the necessary answers to your questions, and the help you need.
Sometimes it can be helpful to include your ex-partner in couples therapy to facilitate better understanding and a smoother transition. ⚕️
5. Looking to the future.
Why not start new projects?
Being single again can provide a unique opportunity to refocus on yourself and rediscover your aspirations and passions. It’s a great time to reflect on what makes you tick, what you’re truly passionate about, and what you may have pushed aside during your relationship. By reconnecting with your personal interests, you can not only find a positive distraction but also redefine your identity and life goals.
- Learn new skills
- Explore hobbies more seriously
- To travel
Set new short and long term goals
This helps you focus on the future rather than the past, turning the transition period into a new opportunity for personal growth and development. Here are some suggestions for structuring your goals:
Short term goals 🏃
- Improved physical health
Exercise regularly, whether it's at the gym or running. - Eat a balanced diet to improve your overall well-being.
- Personal development
Set a goal to read a certain number of books per month on topics that you are passionate about or that help you grow. - Social relations
Plan weekly outings with friends to strengthen your relationships and meet new people.
Long term goals 🖥️
- Career and education
Identify the steps needed to get a promotion or change careers if that's what you've wanted for a while, and work towards achieving those goals.
- Spiritual and mental development
Incorporate meditation or mindfulness into your daily routine to improve your mental and emotional well-being. - Voyages of discovery
Plan long-term trips to destinations that inspire you or allow you to experience new cultures.
6. Get out of your comfort zone
Stepping out of your comfort zone after a breakup can help you build your self-confidence, broaden your horizons, and open your mind. It can help you learn new things, gain new skills, and rediscover the world with a different perspective after the loss of a relationship.
Daring to flirt with the unknown is a bit like deciding to go on an adventure rather than staying on your couch. You will discover new landscapes, create new connections, and meet interesting people. Each new encounter can mark the beginning of a new story.
Traveling alone can be especially rewarding. It gives you the opportunity to reconnect with yourself while also experiencing new cultures. Even a quick weekend trip to a nearby city can provide a breath of fresh air and new perspectives. It’s one of the first steps to rebuilding your life after a loss. 🗺️
The upheaval of a breakup gives us the chance to grow and reinvent ourselves. Novelty is a great way to discover yourself in a new light. These new experiences will enrich your future relationships and strengthen your personal story.
So why not take the opportunity to try something new and surprise even yourself? By taking these steps, you open the door to renewed love and new adventures.
7. Invite introspection
After you have applied all of these tips at your own pace, it is important to reflect on the past relationship and learn from it.
Ask yourself different questions about how to use this experience to grow?
- Analyze your past relationship
What were the highlights, and what were the more complicated moments when you would have needed an emotional translator?
Basically, what was rolling and what was making you roll your eyes? 👀
✒️ Identify your own behavior
Are there any behaviors you would like to change or improve ?
✒️ Learn to understand your needs and limits
What do you really need to feel fulfilled in a relationship?
And what are your absolutely non-negotiable limits?
✒️ Learn from your mistakes
What are the meatballs you made?
What could you change in the future?
You now have all the cards in hand to recover from a breakup and come out of it more powerful ! And of course, all this is at your own pace, there are no real rules of time to turn the page, everything in its own time. The loss of a love is painful, and that's normal. To move forward in this process, we recommend that you double down on self-care . Here is an article to give you inspiration for your solo dates . ❤️🩹
