Pornography in the couple: good or bad idea?
Long a taboo subject and considered obscene, pornography has taken on an enormous dimension in recent decades, especially with the advent of the web. Its consumption is growing. Porn is increasingly becoming a part of couples.
How is porn perceived in a couple's sexuality ? What are the effects of pornography consumption on a couple's life?
How do today's couples behave towards pornography?
The advent of Playboy magazine in 1950 brought about a much greater societal predisposition to pornography. Linked to masturbation , viewing pornography for men or women in a relationship was long seen as a shameful and solitary practice.
The 2014 IFOP survey report shows that women minimize their partner's porn consumption. Among the games likely to awaken the couple's libido, porn figures prominently in the French sex repertoire. 43% of them say they have already made love in front of this type of film.
According to a survey conducted by Ifop for Elle on "the sexual lives of French women in 2019", one in two women (47%) admit to having already been on an X-rated site, a proportion more than ten times higher than that observed in 2006.
Sometimes, pornography serves as a source of inspiration for some of us. Thus, nearly 47% admit to having already tried to recreate the positions or scenes from these videos (40% in 2009).
Pornography for two, what are the benefits?
According to Andrea Waling , a sexuality researcher at La Trobe University, pornography can be very positive if it is "consumed" well. In particular, it can help to strengthen the intimacy of couples wishing to explore their erotic fantasies together, by creating a more open and tolerant environment.
Pornography in a couple's life has several positive impacts. Porn mainly serves as a stimulant for sex in a relationship. Other times, it serves as a means of enjoyment alone or with several people in a couple.
On rare occasions, pornography is used to alleviate problems affecting the couple's sexuality. Couple pornography helps to break the routine and revive the libido when the attraction in the couple tends to disappear.
Watching porn as a couple can be a liberator of the erotic imagination of partners, a booster of the sexuality of couples. It allows both men and women to reveal themselves to each other, to appropriate the scenarios, to share their fantasies.
In 2011, a study by Bridge et al demonstrated the positive impact of pornography on women's sexual satisfaction. Unlike men, women integrate porn into their relationship and rarely indulge in it alone.
Pornographic films and videos serve as sex educators in learning sexual practices, especially for the shyest. A survey shows that by allowing the liberation and fulfillment of fantasies , pornography reduces sexual aggression.
Watching erotic films as a couple, what are the risks?
Couples must realize that pornography does not reflect the reality of a couple's sexuality. This can cause complexes in the man or the woman, especially if they are not able to tell the difference. Another important point is that in pornographic content, the participants necessarily reach orgasm. An idea that is far from being the reality in the life of a couple .
More than a third of men under 25 admit to having been self-conscious about the size of their penis while watching a porn film, according to an Ifop survey. X-rated films can create complexes in men and also spread sexual codes, such as full body hair removal.
Other forms of pleasure can satisfy both parties. Which does not take away from the accomplished nature of sex. Often in porn videos, little space is given to foreplay, so there is often no prior excitement.
Normally, the sexuality of the couple depends on the character of each partner depending on whether they are dominant or dominated. Most often in a virtual sex video, the woman is used as a sexual object dedicated to satisfying the fantasies of the other. This is a very pejorative vision of reality.
Because of its easy and enjoyable side, alone or as a couple, pornography can become an addiction, thus endangering the relationship. The partner consuming porn may no longer be satisfied with the sexuality of his couple. Which risks creating an emotional detachment from the other.
Some women/men feel distrust, betrayal or anger towards this consumption by their partner. They consider it as infidelity and feel less attractive and lacking in confidence. Which creates problems and tensions in couples.
Although the evidence for any health benefits from watching pornography is slim, sexologists agree that it all depends on the amount of time spent watching porn and the type of videos watched.
Combine erotic film & vibrator
According to the Tenga 2020 survey, 45% of French people have already used vibrators. Thus, many are those who seek excitement and pleasure in the combined use of porn and vibrator .
Pornography is the most widely used stimulant as a method of stimulation. Its consumption serves as a conditioning for many before masturbation with a vibrator alone or as a couple.
Once the excitement has been triggered by the video, your vibrator can come into play. However, the choice of vibrator is important and must be meticulous! We obviously recommend our two vibrators Coco and toupie 😌 .
You can use the vibrating part of the Coco vibrator to stimulate the outside of the clit or other erogenous parts (lips, breasts). You can also use it in penetration to caress the bottom of the vagina, especially the G-spot !
The suction part is purely non-penetrative. Due to its pressure waves, it is used for sucking the clitoris or breasts . You can chain all this while continuing to consume porn, this assures you several varieties of pleasant sensations linked to visual, physical and sound excitement. 🤩
In addition, the rod separating the two parts of the Coco vibrator is flexible. As a result, you can use both parts simultaneously for separate caresses. The Toupie vibrator, with its shape, is ideal for allowing you to explore all the erogenous zones of your body!
You can combine Toupie, Coco vibrators and porn content for unprecedented orgasms throughout your body. Combining vibrators and erotic videos can be an intense and unique experience for a couple .
Alternatives to porn:
After trying, you still don't like porn? Don't panic!
There are many alternatives, here are a few of them:
1. Podcasts:
Surge
In perpetual search of new experiences, at Puissante we love to share our new tips with you! Erotic audio fictions are among our favorites 🥰
Among our favorites: Déferlante. Self-proclaimed " pleasure provocative podcast ", the Belgian show will introduce you to an erotic audio story every Sunday at 8 p.m., for your greatest pleasure.
With over 70,000 listens, Déferlante 's extensive archives can be found on most listening platforms and also on their website . Whatever your mood at the moment, you should find something to please you!
VOXXX
VOXXX , created by Olympe de G., has caused a real revolution in the world of sex podcasts. ASMR atmosphere, VOXXX immerses you in different pornographic scenarios, well accompanied by characters with voices that are sometimes sensual, sultry or transgressive.
The episodes for audiophile libido are archived and easily found via a search engine . Simply register on VOXXX+ to access them.
And don't worry, the last 10 episodes are available on your favorite listening platform. 🙌
Charlie's Erotic Readings
The idea of this great podcast is to restore the reputation of "naughty" stories . Challenge met with flying colors thanks to immersive and enjoyable readings .
It contains modern works by authors whose writing has been judged to be ungrateful and who have not had access to the literary recognition they deserve.
In the same spirit, we highly recommend CtrlX , created by a group of journalists, artists and profiles from the digital world. 🎧
2. Books 📚
Venus Erotica by Anaïs Nin
THE great classic of feminine erotic literature. Venus Erotica is often cited as the only female author in the pleasure literature rankings alongside the Marquis de Sade, DH Lawrence and Henry Miller.
The text becomes the master of our pleasure , keeps us in suspense as we approach bliss, our beats per minute race in sync with the protagonists and enjoyment overwhelms us . 🔥
Story of O by Pauline Réage
Pauline Réage, real name Dominique Aury, delivers an iconic sadomasochistic story .
This is the story of a young girl, her beginnings in sexuality and her exploration of total abandonment to the other . Dating from the 50s, this work is still controversial to this day, but is among the classics of erotic writings. 🥇
Love it or hate it, The Story of O has a place on a list of resources for enjoying yourself alone .
The Scarlet Notebook and Losing Breath by Anne Rachet
Subtitled Lesbian Erotic Fragments, the Scarlet Notebook is not a work of fiction . It is a collection of texts and illustrations testifying to the writer's intimate journey. 📕
Perdre Haleine completes the first story by offering us moments of autoeroticism . A true ode to female masturbation , Perdre Haleine gives us a taste for reflection and words as a preamble to sensual pleasure.
3. Ethical porn 😇
Pornography is now an integral part of self-taught sex education for many of us. Feminist, inclusive, respectful and diverse, the ethical porn movement offers other types of videos, far from the harmful clichés of mainstream porn. 💦
The framing is positioned on all the extras , whether they are men, women or non-binary. And it's the same for the way of giving pleasure, the time spent giving and receiving it. Exit stereotypes, in these videos the man gives as much as he receives.
Distancing itself from the dominant male gaze (gendered masculine perspective, present in most erotic films and films in general), ethical porn offers varied sensibilities, sexualities and experiences. Queer heterosexual couples, open relationships, transgender people, non-binary profiles and also a great diversity of practices. ⚧️
Some ethical porn references that we have selected for you:
- XConfessions by Erika Lust
- Carmina Pink Square
- Bellesa
