Postpartum sex: understanding postpartum libido
The postpartum period is that time when the woman retransitions to “a normal life” . So much for the brief and quick definition. Except that this period is in no way a return to normal, but a profound change as much of the body as of the identity . It is therefore a suspended moment when one is particularly fragile and vulnerable and where sex life can be complicated . Let's be honest, we don't want to be touched so much as to admit our teenage musical tastes. In this article, we'll shed some light on why libido is a hit after childbirth .
Overcome fear of pain
Before diving into the depths of postpartum, we want to reassure you.
No you are not abnormal
No, you don't have to pretend it's alright
No, you are not alone. 🤍
According to a sexology manual, 80% of women who have given birth vaginally observe a pronounced drop in their sexual desire and 35% for those who have had a caesarean section. 60% claim to be sexually dissatisfied because of discomfort in the vagina.
It is totally normal for you to be in pain, scared or afraid of being in pain.
We are afraid of having pain, that the stitches will jump or even of not feeling anything. The turmoil of hormones can also cause vaginal dryness which makes everything even more complex. 👎
The medical profession recommends a delay of 6 weeks before penetration . However, having your gynecologist give you the green light is not an injunction to go for it.
When the desire returns, seize the opportunity to explore new practices with your partner . Advance at your own pace, starting with caresses, stimulation of new erogenous zones. Go in search of your sensuality with imagination and curiosity!
The priority is to recreate true couple intimacy in the midst of fatigue and welcoming a new life. Each gesture, each moment of tenderness is much more precious than sexual intercourse that leads to orgasm. We are certain that you will discover new horizons of pleasure for two that will gradually re-enchant your sex life. 😉
Listen to your body to feel ready
As in almost everything related to sexuality: the only rule that exists is to listen to yourself, your feelings and your desires.
The vagina which, let us remember all the same, delivered a mini-human of a few kilos is no longer perceived as a haven dedicated to pleasure, but as a way out. Our report changes and the feelings too.
In addition to learning to live with a body that has changed, we must more than ever face the duality of the Virgin and the Whore. 😇😈
The sociologist Michel Bian explains: “by splitting the woman into two antagonistic icons – Mary the gentle and Eve the corrupting – the Judeo-Christian tradition has always taught us that sexual and maternal happiness were antinomic ”.
To move forward during this period of metamorphosis, self-compassion and kindness towards oneself are the key. Complimenting each other, giving each other love in small touches on a daily basis will greatly help you reconnect to body and mind after childbirth.
Bringing back intuitive movement such as dance or hormonal yoga can be an excellent way to regain possession of your body in full consciousness.
Caresses and massages are our favorite way to learn to be yourself, far from the injunctions that weigh on women's bodies. 🍃
The postpartum period is sometimes complex to go through, because apprehension, guilt and a drop in self-esteem darken the picture. Time is the key to building a fulfilling sex life after childbirth. Patience, imagination and benevolent communication will be your best allies in this quest for self-reflection. We promise: the desire will be back! 🔥
