The Sensate Focus method for more fulfilled sexuality

What if we told you that there is a method that can reduce sexual anxiety and improve intimacy between partners by focusing on physical sensations rather than performance? All while emphasizing enjoying the moment rather than chasing orgasm . Sensate Focus has also been recognized for its success in treating various sexual problems such as erectile dysfunction, premature ejaculation, lack of sexual desire, vaginismus and anorgasmia in women, or rediscovering sexuality after pregnancy . Sounds great, right? We explain everything in this article!

Who are Master & Johnson?

The Sensate Focus is a sex therapy technique developed by American sexologists William Masters and Virginia Johnson in the 1960s. 👩🏻‍🔬🧑🏼‍🔬

They were two pioneers of modern sexology who revolutionized our understanding of human sexuality from 1957 to 1965. They conducted innovative studies to directly observe the body's reactions during arousal and orgasm. Through their research, they created the famous four-phase model of sexual response: arousal, plateau, orgasm, and resolution.

Their 1966 book, Human Sexual Response , broke many taboos and remains an essential reference for understanding sexuality in a more open and scientific way.

Their method shocked puritanical America in the sixties, because they were the first scientists to observe individuals having sexual intercourse.

Using this method of data collection, they proved that the size of the clitoris or penis has no bearing on sexual capacity, that getting older does not mean the end of sexual life, or that women do not enjoy themselves less than men.  

Without their work, the positive sexuality approach would not exist and Powerful even less. Thank you to this dynamic duo for paving the way for the normalization of pleasure. 👏

The benefits of the Sensate Focus method

This method taught in sexology classes consists of a series of exercises where we explore touch and bodily sensations. 🫱

Initially, the approach is non-sexual, then it gradually becomes erotic , initially avoiding any penetration . It encourages communication, mutual discovery and the development of a deep emotional and physical connection.

Sensate Focus is structured in four stages, each consisting of 6 sessions lasting from 25 minutes minimum to 40 minutes maximum . Each session involves a masseur and a person being massaged, alternating roles between you and your partner.

It is essential that you follow the Sensate Focus protocol , which means that the entire session, including undressing, showering, drying and massage, must take place in silence. 🔇

Even if you're dying to whisper cute phrases in your partner's ear, be patient!

This therapeutic tool allow of :

• Put less pressure on yourself
  By focusing on feelings rather than results, we say bye-bye to performance anxiety.
  
  
• Improve communication
  We learn to openly express our preferences, our feelings and what piques our sensual curiosity.
  
  
• Strengthen emotional connection
  These exercises help to reconnect emotionally and to your intimacy. Bonus: By exploring each other's bodies, we also strengthen physical connection and affection.
  
  
• Rediscovering pleasure
  Without the pressure to “do things right,” you can savor the sensations and become more grounded in the present moment.
  
  
• Solving sexual dysfunctions
  The Sensate Focus method is an ally of choice for resolving a drop in libido , timid lubrication or even premature ejaculation in men.
  
  
• Boost body awareness
  You become more aware of your own body and your partner's sensations.
  
  
• Share positive experiences
  Couples create positive and enjoyable sexual experiences together.
  
  
• Enjoy a calm and relaxing break
  Rather than embarking on a frantic race to orgasm, we take the time to enjoy ourselves and who knows, perhaps the relaxation will inspire sparks of erotic creativity in you?

By shifting the focus from performance to sensory pleasure, Sensate Focus allows you to better understand your desires and bodily responses and those of your partners. But also to strengthen intimacy within the couple and the acceptance of your sensations.

Let's get down to business!

Phase 1: Non-sexual exploration

The goal is to create an environment of relaxation, mindfulness and exploration of each other without any sexual pressure . Just a moment of intimacy for two that allows us to discover each other, to explore each other's bodies, to caress.

The goal here is not to expect a sexual reaction in front, but to discover the person's body from A to Z: the hardest part, the softest, the hottest, the coldest and much more. It's a real sensory exploration! 🕵️

1. Take a shower or bath. 🚿
   
   
2. The masseur undresses the person being massaged.
   
   
3. The person being massaged starts taking a shower, the masseur undresses and joins his or her partner. The person giving the massage cleans and soaps his or her partner completely.
   
   
4. Once the shower or bath is finished, both partners get out. The masseur wipes down the person being massaged.
   
   
5. The person being massaged will lie down naked on the bed, preferably on their stomach.
   
   
6. The person giving the massage then dries off and joins his or her partner.
   
   
7. He or she begins the massage with oil on the entire body, from the feet to the shoulders.

 

At the end of this first step, everyone shares their feedback and expresses their feelings about what they liked, didn't like, the parts of the body that had the most sensations. 🗨️

After 6 sessions, when this level is finished, do not hesitate to try to find out if this experience has brought you closer together . You can then move on to level 2.

Phase 2: Integration of the fantasy principle

The principle of phase 2 is similar to level 1 with, in addition, the integration of fantasy . We keep the stage of the shower or bath, of the massage, but with a more sensual notion in the minds of both partners.

This time, the person being massaged expresses what she feels at the moment. Emphasize in particular what makes you happy. 💖

You can include the genital areas , without it being masturbation, rather "teasing" and sensuality.

At the end of the sessions, it is always important to say what you felt during the experience. You can even discuss preferences: did you prefer the first or the second phase?

Phase 3: Integration of erogenous zones

The more comfortable you are, the more you can start to include erogenous zones in your explorations. 🔥

While keeping the steps of phase 1, integrate increasingly sexual caresses with the aim of masturbating your partner .

Keep in mind that the goal is still not to have an orgasm or give one, but to continue to familiarize yourself with the erogenous zones.

During this step, feedback is always welcome. Share your physical feelings, but also the emotions that run through you as you progress through the steps.

Phase 4: Introduction of sexual relations

In this very last step, it is important to go through the previous steps again before getting to the sexual act itself.

To recap here, you take a shower or bath together, massage each other, start the more sensual massages , then masturbation, and that's when you can include penetration and intercourse.

This level allows you to completely surrender to pleasure. And one last time, all in chorus, it is not a race to orgasm, but to the pleasure felt throughout the experience . 😍

Our best tips for getting started

Create an environment of relaxation and privacy

Choose a comfortable and pleasant place to talk about it with your partner.

As you explore, you can even add candles, dim lighting, or soft music to create a relaxing and safe atmosphere that you feel good in. 🕯️

Agree on the frequency together

Before starting the sessions, take the time to talk with your partner. It's time to share what inspires you, what perhaps scares you a little more and anything that comes to mind regarding the Sensate Focus. Choose your massage oil together and discuss the atmosphere you want to create.

You also need to agree on the frequency of these practices.

Some couples prefer to do this on a regular basis, while others may opt for less frequent sessions. Find what works best for your relationship and each other's schedules.

By establishing these foundations from the start, you will create a more trusting environment for the experience. 😄

Focus on the experience rather than the obstacles

Sensate Focus is not just for sex therapy; it is a method that can enrich everyone's life. 🙌

By focusing on the present moment through mindfulness, it helps to detach oneself from external distractions and worries. This not only helps reduce stress and anxiety , but also improves connection with oneself and others.

By practicing Sensate Focus, we develop a heightened sensitivity to physical and emotional sensations , which promotes more authentic and enriching interactions. Whether during meals, at work or in personal relationships, this approach can transform the way we live our daily lives.

It encourages you to fully savor each moment, to be more present and to appreciate more intensely the little pleasures of life . 💐

Sensate Focus after childbirth?

After giving birth, returning to a "normal" and fulfilling sex life can be a real challenge for some women.

Between tissue healing, hormonal roller coasters, fatigue, and new parenting responsibilities, it's not always easy. Add to this cocktail vaginal dryness from lower estrogen and lack of sleep, and sex becomes less comfortable along with a flagging libido.

To better understand this postpartum period, the University of Tehran conducted a study of women aged 18 to 34. Eight weeks after targeted interventions, such as the Sensate Focus method, participants showed significant improvements in their sexlife . They reported increased sexual satisfaction , less pain during intercourse, and a better emotional connection with their partner. 🤩

These results show that tailored approaches can really help overcome postpartum obstacles and get your sex life back on track.

Sensate Focus is much more than just a therapeutic exercise to overcome sexual difficulties. It is an invitation to rediscover sexuality with your partner in a deep and intimate way while being fully aware of your own body and desires . This practice is similar to the principle of slow sex which focuses on the present moment rather than the race to orgasm. If you like Sensate Focus, you can also try to bring awareness back into your sexuality! 😋