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Focus on anorgasmia

By La Team Puissante

Ah, orgasm , this ultimate Grail of sexuality. This seventh heaven that we are promised and which is not so easy to reach. Due to lack of sexual education, pressure to perform or due to a physiological dysfunction, many women have been unable to enjoy themselves at least once in their lives. Anorgasmia often affects self-confidence, the stability of one's relationship or even libido . However, there is a range of suitable solutions. Although often neglected, these dysfunctions can be treated effectively. Before trying to "cure" them, it is necessary to understand the causes of this disorder in order to welcome it gently.

What is anorgasmia?

Short definition

Anorgasmia is a persistent and repeated absence of orgasm. It is distinguished from anaphrodisia by the preservation of sexual desire. It is an inability to achieve it despite high arousal and appropriate stimulation. The causes of this anorgasmia are mainly psychological. 🧠

Anorgasmia can be recognized by several symptoms:

Inability to achieve orgasm
Despite strong arousal and sufficient foreplay, orgasm remains elusive.
Less intense orgasm
When orgasm is achieved, it may feel less intense or less satisfying than expected.
Disinterest in sexual relations
Difficulty achieving orgasm can lead to decreased interest in and avoidance of sexual intercourse.

Anorgasmia can cause feelings of distress, guilt, or low self-esteem, which affects quality of life and intimate relationships.

This is a more common challenge than you might think, as it affects 10% to 15% of women. Male partners are less affected by this phenomenon. In men, there may be ejaculation without orgasm, without pleasure, which is called anhedonic ejaculation.

The different types of anorgasmia

Spoiler alert : the term anorgasmia does not only refer to an absolute absence of orgasm. It describes any situation where the "little death" is absent. To help us better understand, the medical profession differentiates several types of anorgasmia.

Primary anorgasmia

When a person has never been able to achieve orgasm at any time in their life, whether through masturbation or through sexual intercourse, whether or not involving penetration.

Secondary anorgasmia

When orgasm has been achieved in the past, but is no longer achieved currently.

Situational anorgasmia

Orgasm is achieved in some cases, but not all the time or in all situations.

Total anorgasmia

As the name suggests, total anorgasmia means that orgasm has never been achieved, in any situation, regardless of the type of stimulation or the partner.

Relative anorgasmia

Inability to achieve orgasm specifically during penetrative sex, but possible with other types of stimulation (such as masturbation, use of externally stimulated vibrators, or oral sex).

Causes of anorgasmia

The causes of anorgasmia are numerous because several factors can come into play.

They can be as much psychological as physical and vary depending on the person, their experiences, their perception of themselves, etc.

Here is a non-exhaustive list of the most common causes of the absence of orgasm.

Lack of knowledge in terms of sexuality
Anxiety, anguish, stress
Fear of abandonment, emotional dependence
Fear of losing control and inability to let go
Pain during intercourse such as vaginismus or dyspareunia
Lack of self-confidence, poor self-image
Medical treatments
Menopause
Disease (diabetes)
Lack of communication with your partner

Get support to explore solutions

Find a competent professional

First of all, if you are having difficulties and you can't find solutions, you can consult . Sex therapy or consulting a doctor can help you.

Through tailored therapies, a sexologist can guide you towards effective solutions while offering you emotional support .

Relaxation and mindfulness techniques

Techniques that aim to reduce stress and anxiety are ideal for developing a fulfilling sex life.

Body scanning, progressive muscle relaxation, or abdominal breathing help to re-anchor the mind in the present moment to better appreciate bodily sensations . When we are fully present to what is happening in our body, the voices of the injunction to orgasm and performance become silent. We promise, we tested it!

You can also do hypnosis to treat anorgasmia. Testimonials have proven that this allows you to be in a state of complete letting go , to understand the unconscious need for protection and take the time to soothe it.

Improve communication in the couple

Over the years, we settle into a routine where we think we know the other person by heart. This situation can lead to a deterioration in communication. We end up simply hearing the other person without really listening. 🎧

Communication exercises may include:

guided discussions,
role playing games,
active listening techniques.

Knowing how to communicate our preferences and our limits while respecting ourselves and others is the key to a great sex life for two but also to a healthy relationship.

If orgasm is absent when you share an intimate moment with your partner, why not try the Sensate Focus method ? It is a protocol developed by renowned sexologists to find connection, savor sensations and let go of orgasm at all costs.

The importance of knowing yourself

Knowledge of one's body

To enjoy sex, you first need to know yourself, know what you like and what you don't like, observe yourself, touch yourself .

We have been, all our lives, very poorly informed about the female body, with an altered representation of the clitoris during SVT classes for example. 🧬

It is therefore essential to learn about your body and what gives you pleasure. A better understanding of your anatomy, especially erogenous zones like the clitoris , allows you to discover what really makes you vibrate. By touching and exploring yourself, every woman can learn to let go more without restraint, the must to achieve fulfilling sexual satisfaction. 😍

To take stock of what you like and what intrigues you, we invite you to build your own sexual menu . It's a super practical and fun way to discover yourself and assert your desires.

Discovery of orgasm

Achieving orgasm is often a central goal of sex, but it’s crucial to remember that everyone is different . For some, orgasm can be achieved easily, every time, while for others it may take more time and stimulation. Understanding your own arousal cycle and the conditions that promote orgasm can enhance your entire sexual experience.

Orgasm is not an end in itself but a plus of the relationship, concentrate on the sensations during the whole relationship. 🧘

Using sex toys

Sex toys offer a variety of stimulations that can help you discover new sensations and reach orgasm more easily . They can play a role in exploring your own body and improving your sex life, both solo and with partners.

Sex toys help you explore and discover pleasure zones that you might not have found otherwise.

By providing specific and sometimes more intense stimulation, sex toys can make it easier to achieve orgasm, especially for those who have difficulty reaching orgasm using traditional means.

There are many different types of sex toys, each designed to stimulate different parts of the body or to be used in different ways.

Vibrators

They use vibrations to stimulate different erogenous zones, they can be used for internal stimulation, external stimulation, or both at the same time. Vibrators vary in size, shape and vibration intensity, allowing to satisfy all needs. At Puissante, our Chouchou or our brand new Bisou are vibrating sex toys allowing to stimulate all your erogenous zones.

Clitoris vacuum cleaner

These types of vibrators mimic the sensation of suction and are effective for clitoral stimulation . They create air pulsations on the clitoris, but can also be used on other erogenous zones, such as the nipples . 🌬️

G-spot stimulators

Designed to specifically target the G-spot, these sex toys have a special curve or shape that allows for more precise internal stimulation . This area is usually located on the anterior wall of the vagina, on the abdominal side, at a depth of 2 to 3 centimeters from the vaginal opening.

At Puissante, we can recommend La Toupie asa first vibrator to start discovering the joys of sex toys: it is a completely different toy from our Coco: it is designed to increase excitement step by step , focusing on sensation rather than performance. The goal is not to cum quickly but to deeply feel the love that we give each other and the experience that unfolds.

General health also involves sexual health, it is a question of well-being and not just an absence of disease . If you think you have anorgasmia, do not panic, treatments exist, and you can succeed in reaching orgasm and have positive results.

If you want to learn how to approach conscious sexuality and be fully present during intimate moments, it's here . 🤩

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